How and Why?

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for the delay in this blog entry, these past couple of days have been rough for me. It all started last week when I went to Nymata to visit the church and my entire body that day decided to shut down on me when I got back from it. Ever since that day I've just begun to ask God, why did this horrific thing happen? Why could you allow such things as this to happen, and even to these children for crying out loud. I mean it seemed that the entire world around me turned black and white, and all I could hear was the same question in my head going on over and over again. Then a few days back my body was attacked again by an allergic reaction to the food I had, and I had to go to the hospital. Pretty much this week my mind has been wrapped around questions that involve "How and Why?"

I've been starting this year to read the bible in chronological order and for some reason after getting through 11 chapters in Genesis, I end up starting in Job (to most scholars and theologians the book of Job is actually recorded during the times of Genesis), and it is here that God really began to show me answers. Ever since coming into Rwanda, God has been testing my faith on a daily basis, and for starters the one thing I'm beginning to struggle with is not having the comforts I once had back in America. You see in the beginning, Job had it all ranging from complete wealth, to being admonished and respected by everyone around him. But the most important thing that he had in his life was God. Eventually the devil makes a challenge to God saying that Job is like any other man and will eventually curse Him. Now after reading that part, I was simply amazed in seeing God allow this to happen because Job is put through the worst "hell" imaginable, and at one point I was thinking, "Why could you be doing this to him God?" But through reading more of this I begin to see the picture in what God is showing me...."why do you question me Adam? I created you because I love you and I want the best for you, and yet you still doubt, still rely on other things before me, and above all things you turn your back on me? So Adam I ask you, How do I respond to you? By placing my only son on the cross because I WANT YOU TO BE WITH ME......

Being here so far has shown me how greedy and spoiled I really am. I see people on the street who don't have any arms. Some people who are crippled and can only walk by using their hands as feet. And also the children who live out on the streets get shot at because they are considered thugs by the society here. So who am I to question God for who He is, I mean I look at myself in the mirror and I say to myself, I'm incomplete. I look at the things I have around me, and I say that I need more. For Christ even mentioned to us in Matthew 6: 25-32 about these things. The birds of the fields have plenty of food around them and do you see them complain that they don't have enough food?

Today has been a day for me to reflect upon these things, and the one thing I can tell you is that I am one messed up person. I ask for so much, and yet I don't give back. God gives me His all through His Son, and yet I only give 0.1 percent of myself to Him. But in the end He showed me something that I still cry over. He gave me peace and strength in His words through Isaiah 43: 18-19 saying "Remember not the former things nor consider the things of old. Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." If you are going through these trials and periods in your life when you feel that God is not giving you enough, or you begin to question God in His motives......I ask of you to please do two simple things, "don't question or doubt Him", because in the end......He only does these things to us because He loves us, and wants us to GROW and MATURE IN HIM. If you can stand the lengthy complaints of Job, you see in the end that God showed him something he was lacking, and in the end, Job was blessed ten times more than he was before his suffering.

As I end this, I challenge you to go into a quiet place and begin to evaluate yourself, and through that period begin to see what is bothering you right now. After going through this time, I want you to talk with God and begin to tell Him the TRUTH about what your going through and let Him speak to you? Be patient during this period because the Lord will answer you, more importantly start digging through HIS WORD. The main prayer that I ask from you is for strength in these hard times I'm in, and also that my heart can begin to let go of the worldly comforts and start putting my heart into the things of the spirit. I love you all and if you have any prayer requests, please let me know.

In Christ's Loving Arms,
Adam Turnipseed