Walking by Faith

As I write this new entry I will have stayed in Kigali, Rwanda for ONE MONTH!!!! Wow God is good, He brings me into this new place completely changing my expectations, completely changing my thoughts of what this country is like, and more importantly He is completely changing my heart. For the 4 weeks I've been here, I've seen things that in all honesty I didn't want to see (but God showed me anyway), my stomach still is screaming WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME, I now have a desire to one day adopt a child (whoever God leads me to as my wife BETTER AGREE lol), my definition of a hot shower here is lava hot water to the Arctic Circle in 3 second chains, I'm taking a taxi that my mom would have a heart attack if she saw what it was (a motorcycle, and don't panic mom cause you at least know I'm alive), but the most important thing He's showing me here is I'm not walking blindly by FAITH.

These past few weeks have been the hardest times of my life. I mean I leave the place I call my refuge, I leave all my closest friends and my family, I leave my nice and comfy bed and also my air conditioning, and I also leave thinking that my walk with God is okay. But after 4 weeks of being here, He's completely tearing my life to shreds, but in a good way. I'm currently in the process of getting permission to film a documentary about the genocide, but this week has been a living HELL for me because people have been sending me back and forth from one department to the other. I can officially say today that I want to pull a Brittney Spears and go into a barber shop and shave my head completely BALD just so I don't rip the hair out myself because of these departments. But it's been during this week, that God is showing me something that I really haven't confronted, believing HE will provide for me, no matter what the result is.

I'm homesick, my body has been battered and bruised from illnesses and a random allergic reaction, and I'm at times wanting to find the nearest mansion and ask the owner of the house if I may use his bathtub to take a HOT BATH. But the one thing God continues to tell me is ADAM I NEED YOU TO TRUST WHERE I'M TAKING YOU. Yesterday I finally finished reading Genesis and at the latter part of it, I kept on seeing something relevant to these chosen people of God. They were asked by something that they couldn't even see, maybe even going crazy from hearing voices inside their heads telling them to leave their homes and go out to a land that is promised to them. Abraham is told to leave his beautiful house, and starts living in a tent for the rest of his life, following a voice that's telling him that He will make his descendants as numerous as the stars. Now can you imagine this, looking up at the sky tonight and start counting them....do you think you can get to 6,000,000,000 in one week? These men of faith are given crazy instructions by an INVISIBLE GOD, and do you think they argued (yes many times) but they never stopped believing (if only Journey were around during that time to be God's messengers to these people).

But the final thing that I read in Genesis was the story about Joseph and boy did he have stories to tell his grandchildren. Clearly being the favorite child of Jacob, his brothers eventually plot to murder him, but end up selling him as a slave to the Egyptians. Now seeing that he was given blessing after blessing after blessing and after blessing before this, I wonder what must've been going through his heart and mind after this happened. I was completely wrong in thinking he was cursing God, because he never stopped trusting that God was gonna lead him out of this suffering. When he is finally reunited with his family, and confronting the brothers who sold him, he says, "Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant to do evil against me, but GOD MEANT IT FOR GOOD, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly of them"-Genesis 50:19-21

I can't even accept God at times for the pain I've been put through, yet He only does these things because HE wants to correct my ways and to help better my life for His glory. I am clearly on the Highway to Hell, yet He sends His one and only Son to be the sin offering for the entire world. He asks me to "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understandings, and in all ways ACKNOWLEDGE HIM and HE WILL MAKE MY PATHS STRAIGHT," yet I simply turn my back on Him. Who am I to say that I'm a faithful servant of Him. These people need help, yet my friends say to me "Yeah you will never see me in this place." I'm a blind man walking in darkness, and He comes to me saying "My son, do not forget my teaching. but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of GOD and MAN." Clearly that voice I hear but can't see is telling me something right, and that voice is HIS WORD (The Bible)...... tell me how has your Faith in God been lately?

I pray and I leave you with this, if you do not see yourself walking in God's path right now.......turn around and return running to HIM, because He is waiting on you like a child running to a Father dropping his briefcase to simply EMBRACE YOU. The prayer requests that we ask for here in Rwanda is that the Lord may take away these nervous tensions in our hearts, and let GOD be in full control of the ministry He has placed us in with these children. And pray that the Lord may tear down the walls of my heart, and place a new desire in me to WALK NOT BY THINGS SEEN, but to believe in the UNSEEN. I love you all, and may the Lord bless you and guide you in whatever part of life He has placed you in.

Isaiah 43:18-19,
Adam Turnipseed